Hey, no rant today, in honor of Earth Day. Instead, I'm "recycling" an old song by creating a parody! This is sung to the tune of _Pinball Wizard_, by The Who.

Yes, it's still a work in progress -- I don't really like the JROTC bit, but haven't found a better phrase, and didn't want to offend anyone with "deaf, dumb, and blind." Or have Pete track me down and beat me senseless for stealing even MORE of his lyrics.

I also don't like the "flinger" part, but it's better than it was (trust me, you don't want to know).

Ideas to make it better? Leave 'em in the comments.

_Angry Birds Wizard_
Music (c) The Who, Pete Townshend, et al.
New Words (c) 2011 Prosthetic Lips

Ever since I was a young boy
I've played on my iPhone
From Angry Birds to Bejeweled
I'm always sure to pwn
But I ain't seen nothing like him
in a crowd or all alone
That Junior ROTC kid
Always bring the birds home!

He walks like a zombie
Keeps shuffling his feet
He's always looking down
Even walking 'cross the street
Sees by his peripherals
Sunglasses? Obsolete
That Junior ROTC kid
Always bring the birds home!

He's an Angry Bird wizard
He really is a flinger;
An Angry Bird wizard
With an awesome index finger.

How do you think he does it?
(I don't know)
What makes him so good?

Ignores all distractions
Like, Timmy's in the well?
Or the cute girl in homeroom
Or even that funny smell
Never tilts at windmills
Even when they're made of stone
That Junior ROTC kid
Always bring the birds home!

I thought I was
Pretty good against those pigs
But I just handed
My bacon kilt to him

Even on my favorite level
He can beat my best
Starts flinging those birds around
And gravity does the rest
He goes crazy tappin', tappin'
And the pigs they start to moan,
That Junior ROTC kid
Always bring the birds home!